I’ve always been an over sensitive and emotional person. I’m not saying that just to belittle myself. In fact I don’t think it’s something inherently bad or good having this trait. There just some times that things can get extra difficult in social settings. From being called being overly sensitive to taking silly remarks to heart, these are the times that I’d wonder why am I like this.
Hello there, I am an Emotionally Over-Sensitive Person! EOSP as I want to coin it right here and now.
Now, you may be wondering what this article is going to be about after that bold claim. I’m not expecting a pity party for myself of course. Rather, I’d want to highlight some of the things that I find myself constantly doing as an EOSP. That way, you too can see if you too are subconsciously doing this to yourself.
Being Over Sensitive Means Caring Too Much!
Or so what I’d like to see it as something positive. Though the sad reality of it is that I can “care” a bit too much on opinions that ultimately does not really matter at all. Things like “Do you have a boyfriend yet?”, “Why’d you choose that blouse?”, “I think you could use some help here” and so on. They can really be a matter-of-fact statement with no ill intentions, some times they’re helpful too – but to my devilish mind, they come off as snarky. Jumping to negative conclusion right off the bat. That’s a bad habit I’ve been working on too.
From being sociable and fun, I can turn to be tense and worrisome in a heart beat. I don’t really make an effort to hide it either. Misinterpreting intentions is a nightmare for me to switch off. This makes me come off as a fragile person that can’t handle jokes. To my best friends, it’s something to get used to while for others, means censoring themselves for me. As someone who’ve ever walked on egg shells around someone else before, I know exactly how infuriating that is.
I’ve got to learn that words are just words. They’ll only have a negative connotation to it if you choose to assign it that. One way that’s helping me so far is to constantly remind myself to pause and take a breather when I feel that my mind start to wonder to negativity land. It helps me to refocus and assess correctly the intention behind their words. Most of the time, they’re pretty harmless and neutral. Not something to ruffle your feathers in. The ones that do… well, you just got to retort with something snarkier 😈 (just kidding, maybe).
Dealing With My Own Critic
Not everyone’s a hater to my surprise. Criticism can be a good thing especially when delivered quite respectably and provides valuable feedback. It’s those that are made for the sake of being hurtful are the ones that you have to watch out for. Having said that, I have an issue with well… pretty much all forms of criticism!
I believe this comes down to who exactly is really criticizing you. At the heart of it, I knew that I was being my own harsh criticizer. A small comment or positive feedback would literally translate to something monumentally sensitive in my head. Echoes of “See, you’re not actually good enough!”, “Oh nooo, she hated it!”, “They’re just being respectful when I know they’re disappointed” and so much more are nothing new to me. Again, this stems back to how my brain just likes to jump to negative conclusion and then amplifies it 100 folds. It’s just something that needs effort to work on.
What I’ve always been amazed at celebrities who can openly read hate comments AND dared to make a reaction video out of it. While it infuriates me to see my favorite people getting hated on, their responses are hilarious. I want to be able to laugh things off like that. To take harshness with a grain of salt. In the end, haters reflect more about themselves than they are about me. If I do choose to respond in a similarly toxic behavior, then really I’m only wasting my own energy.
Where Did It All Go Wrong?
A million dollar question that psychologists have spend decades on researching. Thankfully for us in the 21st century, the answer basically sums up to the idea of learned behavior. How one was treated and reacted in the past turns it into an ingrown habit over time. Remember when I said that those echoes happens almost instinctively? I believe it stems from how things used to be around me while I was growing up.
When I was younger, there were times where speaking or acting out of bounds is looked down heavily. Now, I realize that growing up surrounded by passive aggressive punishments has definitely affected my mental health. I’d put it as borderline emotional abuse to children. That person that I had to walk around on egg shells? Yes, they are close to me growing up. I learned how this person would always complain and have a negative view of the world and people.
Nothing is good enough and everything has a bad meaning behind them. So who’s to say that that’s not the cause for my learned behavior now?
Being Over Sensitive Is Not Permanent!
Similar to our previous articles talking about horoscopes and the MBTI personality quiz. The only constant is change it self (quoted from somebody famous probably). Just because you are overly sensitive now, does not mean that is the way things are. Like myself, there are others whom I personally know that are trying hard to break the cycle. Coming from a line of really passive aggressive and negative family members, they do not wish to inflict this onto the future generation. It’s a bad habit that simply needs breaking.
Easier said than done but I’d rather do it now while I still can. I’ve been through my own fair share of heavily affected friendships and relationships for being an EOSP. I wish that I had the introspection to realize it sooner but I’m still grateful for the lessons it thought me along the way. My goal is to embrace my negativity while not letting emotions take over me uncontrollably.
On The Brighter Side of EOSP
Being EOSP is not all thorns and no roses. They can be the kindest and emotionally intelligent people out there since they understand them better. There are multiple instances where a seemingly innocent joke or comment was actually hurtful to someone without anyone realizing it. Being able to stand up to that and being thanked later on is gratifying in its own right.
This is not meant as a dig towards people who are EOSP, nor am I looking to eradicate it completely – just be a happy-go-lucky person 24/7. I love my side of over sensitivity if it weren’t crippling me socially. I would say this is more of a how-to to contain negativity from controlling your life. For those who reached here and said “Yup, sounds like me!”, I will say this to you. You are not weird. You are a product of what you let others define you as. Now that you’ve realized what your situation is now, you are definitely 1 more step forward to becoming a better EOSP.