In a sense, all our interactions can be considered as positive working relationships building in one way or another. They may be different from the way we view relationships between let’s say a man and a woman, or between parents and children. However, I’d still consider working relationships to be just as unique. Adults have spent so much of their time at work that there are even coined terms such as “work spouses” – indicating just how important it is know how to cultivate healthy interactions in the office.
Sorry to disappoint – I’m not here to advise you on how to catch your work crush’s attention! That’s another whole can of worms to go into some other time. I’m talking about developing professional relationships between your bosses and colleagues. It can be this key difference that’s either making you hesitant to come to work or feeling completely drained from seeing frowns all around you so early in the morning.
Believe me when I say that mixing well in the work space is essential anywhere you go. Think of it as an indirect and consistent way of team bonding. Here, the minimum effort you can put in is the gift of your smile.
So, do I need to get chummy now?
Although I do recommend being friendly with everyone, there is a fine line between coming across as simply pleasant or being super ingratiating. Being excessively chummy can backfire in ways that you won’t see it coming! I would recommend knowing the limits of your friendly meter. Some may need to get comfortable first being around you, while some are just an open book. You’ll need to be able to quantify how much friendliness is just right to form a meaningful connection with them.
A little trick that I use regularly is to ask two simple questions.
1. How do I increase the effectiveness of our work done?
An obvious one. You guys are there to get work done, so what’s your relationship dynamic going to be like in order to foster a great tag team? (or group if you’re working with a lot of people)
If your colleague is the more serious type, then you’re better off being more focused on the work and keeping non-work related subject matters to a minimum. If they’re the more chill or easily distracted type then be sure to indulge them with your attention once the work is complete!
Knowing how to cater to different types of personalities will help for the whole company to be more productive. You may be designated as a subordinate to your boss, or a team member with your colleagues. Fostering a good dynamic between them in different situations is crucial to make everyone be less guarded against one another, leading to better brainstorming sessions in the meeting room!
2. How do I improve my boss/colleague’s morale?
Ultimately, being friendly doesn’t have to mean having an ulterior motive. It could simply mean helping them be the best they can be in. I’ve been in companies where people drag other people down with them simply out of spite – you can guess where those types of companies usually end up at. It’s not a great environment to be around in.
Something as simple as taking interest in other people’s hobbies can go a long way in improving their mood for the day. They will be more happier to work with you, or be more receptive of your feedback if things aren’t going too well. That said, no body likes a suck-up… so don’t be one!
Getting Good At Maintaining Positive Working Relationships
I understand that this may come as a natural for some while it can also be like pulling nails for others. Introverts are notoriously accused of being the least social at work but I can definitely say that they may have the best advantage in this matter.
one of the ways to make people like you is to be genuinely interested in other people!
Dale Carnegie, in “How to win friends and influence people“
Without further a do, here’s my top 7 ways for you to be the social butterfly people want to be around at work!
1. Get used to speaking
One rule in communication is “speak”. Speaking and expressing your thoughts is a way for your partners, colleagues and bosses to know what’s going on in your mind. There are different types of “speaking” that we use on a daily basis, but when it comes to the workplace – just remember to be casual, yet respectful and with good manners. This is one way to close the imaginary professional gap.
You might be wondering where is a good place to start. The simplest way is to go with the safe “good morning” with a good smile. They may return the greeting or maybe they don’t – it doesn’t matter at this stage. What matters is to get into the habit of greeting, asking about their day, giving them a cheer up if need be and be genuinely interested in them. Overtime, you’ll soon find more people gravitating towards you for more water cooler engagements!
2. Be the proactive one
Under promise and over deliver. You can call them an over achiever all you want but the fact is that they are the ones who gets the most work done and most depended on by everybody else. If you can give 70% of your effort, then you may as well put in another 10% or even 20%! By doing so, you may inadvertently help your colleagues or bosses out – it’ll be like your little surprise gift to them.
I’m sure everyone’s heard their parents say, “You’re not a kid anymore, we don’t have to tell you every time on what to do!”. The same goes for in the workplace. No one likes to babysit a grown adult. Be more independent and show your enthusiasm in the work that you do, that thing is contagious!
3. DO NOT GOSSIP!
There is no other time waster more harmful than over indulging in office gossips. When I was a kid, I’ve heard of the expression, “Gossiping is worse than killing!”, in my opinion this is rather true. It is demoralizing and breaks down any teamwork built up between teams or departments in a matter of days. Simply put, STAY AWAY FROM GOSSIPS, PLEASE!
When push comes to shove, it’s better to confront the matter head on. Remember to be respectful and bring your point across clearly as to bring up a discussion, not a war. Overcoming conflicts is a test of how well the company’s working culture truly is.
4. The dream team
Take a superhero movie like the Avengers, have you ever seen them defeating the main villain solo? I would guarantee, that’s a never. Having a team to work on tasks is much better than going at it alone. In the case of a diverse team, one member’s weakness can be covered by another member’s strength. However, not all groups of heroes can magically work together if put in the same room.
Look to play an active role in being the mediator within the group. Take note of each member’s strengths and weaknesses, see who works better with who, and be sure to include everyone in team discussions.
Remember in an organization, it is not a race to achieve the goal faster. It’s a marathon to run together and finishing up the race together by supporting each other. Be a good team member and support your team!
5. When in doubt, ask
Easier said than done. This is a by product of a strict upbringing where asking can be seen as being incompetent or afraid that our superiors would get mad at us. However, the consequences of staying silent far outweighs the potential risk of getting scolded for asking (which I find rarely ever happens with a decent boss or colleague).
Asking for guidance can be seen as a form of maturity where we try to avoid making silly, avoidable mistakes that can put the company in harm’s way. In a good working culture, asking is a norm that is practiced regularly and by doing so, it’ll help you grow along with the company.
6. Be punctual
Respecting a person’s time is equivalent to respecting that person. This applies to companies as well. Whether taking that extra effort to sleep well (check out my previous article here) or slogging through traffic, it will be reflected in your attendance records. By not wasting anyone’s time, you can be considered as someone to count on.
7. Make time to socialize outside of work
While I do encourage to keep things professional inside the workplace, that doesn’t mean to stay uptight! Team gatherings or company outings are a great way to get the team to bond closer on non-work related stuffs. This also follows the same principle of being interested in someone else’s interests.
Get to know more about your bosses and colleagues. At the end of the day, we’re all still human working under the same roof! Perhaps you may find aspects of them in which you can empathize with – that’s where you’ll grow much closer on a more personal level.
It’s like your very own superpower
I’ve said this before and I’ll keep on saying it again – being able to mix well in the company is like a superpower. You’ll be able to learn more about others, how they work, how they interact with other people, and how you can best co-op with them to be a better employee. By knowing so, you will inadvertently improve the quality of your work experience.
BUT bear in mind that these tips are not the silver bullet to solving all your issues. Humans will be humans and they may act in ways you least expected. If you take it all at face value and act robotically, then you will come across as insincere at best.
Just remember in the words of Dale Carnegie, you’ve got to be genuinely interested in other people first! For that, you’ll need patience, practice and time to learn about your workmates. Truly understand them and their personality. From there, you can much easily identify your do’s and don’ts in the office.